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Monday, May 26, 2014

Missionary Friends :)

There have been a lot of new rules in the TDM (Texas Dallas Mission). No more than 6 Elders can be together. And Sister and Elders can't be together. Which means my little missionary family is kind of ruined.

That's okay, though. They need to focus on their work!

I was SO blessed to be able to see one of my missionary friends today.

Elder Payne is going home in two days. How weird is that?!?! It was really exciting to see him. I had this HUGE grin on my face and tears in my eyes. The missionaries became my family and when each of them left, they took a piece of my heart with them. There have been 3 missionaries that have really been super hard for me to say goodbye to. That's Elder Saenger, Elder Christensen (of course, I mean, the guy BAPTIZED me) and Elder Payne. They are all so special to me.

When Elder Saenger went home, I lost contact with him. He never emailed me like he said he would. That was hard. Maybe there's a reason, though.

Elder Christensen isn't supposed to contact me at all. I don't really know why. There has to be a reason though. I have faith that there is. And I realize that missionary rules aren't rules to break or go around. There can be serious consequences for my missionary friends if I don't help them keep the rules.

Elder Payne's emailed me a few times, though. And I'm pretty confident we'll be keeping in contact after his mission. Hopefully Elder C and Elder Saenger will keep in touch soon, too. :)

These men have all changed me, somehow. They're all so righteous and they give me someone to follow. Since I don't have parents in the church, I find myself fumbling over some confusing gospel principles. With the help of Elder C and Elder Payne especially, I have been able to understand these principles a lot better. They give me footsteps to follow when I am lost, even if they aren't here with me.

One of the biggest blessings I have had from being close to the missionaries, is that if someone asks me a gospel question, I can usually hear one of my missionary friend's voices in my head from when they have taught that to one of my friends, or even me. This has happened multiple times. Even in seminary, Elder C's thought provoking questions pop into my head followed by a scripture or a personal experience he talked about relating to that. Or Elder Saenger's favorite scriptures. Or Elder Payne's Old Testament lessons.

It's just really exciting to have this tiny little family that I adore so much.

I came across this scripture the other day and they popped into my mind. :) Moroni 8:3

I love this gospel and everyone in it. And I am so grateful for righteous missionaries teach me the way.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Standing Up

It's been really crazy around here. With graduation coming up my stress level is through the roof. And because of other challenges my testimony faltered a little bit.

The other day in seminary we talked about converts. The lesson was really good and the Spirit was so strong. But about halfway through the lesson the kids behind me started getting louder and louder and were laughing. I ended up missing a lot of the lesson and left seminary frustrated. They talk a lot, but usually they'll stop after being asked. So when they didn't and just got louder it was frustrating to me and a few other kids in the class. After fuming about it for the whole drive home, I shot a text to my teacher and explained my frustration. She promised to talk to them.

The talking continued though.

So today they started talking. And after shushing them once with no response I decided that if I wanted to hear this lesson I had to do something, myself.

So I packed up my church bag. My teacher stopped teaching and asked if I was leaving, I said no, that I was moving because I couldn't hear what she was saying. She asked the back row to stop talking and I quietly folded my chair and walked past all of my silent classmates and made another seat on the other side of the room. It was really hard for me to do, because I felt everyone's eyes on me.

But you know what? I wasn't just standing up to move away, I stood up because I WANTED to hear that lesson. I didn't have to do that. I could have just missed the lesson again. It was a reminder to myself about the importance of seminary in my life and how I shouldn't be afraid to stand up.

And the best part is- they finally stopped talking. :)

I'm really grateful for this little experience. And I'm glad it's helped me realize that I need to get back on track and follow Him. :)

"Dare to be a Mormon. Dare to stand alone. Dare to have a purpose firm. Dare to make it known." -Thomas S. Monson

Monday, May 5, 2014


I'm tired of standing alone. It seems like every time I start to feel better something else happens.

And I'm really tired of pretending like I'm okay, because I'm not. I'm just afraid people will think differently of me when they realize I'm struggling this much.


Have a good day.